I just saw the date of my last post. Yes, I gave up on blogging for a while. Kinda embarrassed to start back up. At this moment I am keenly aware of feeling awkward and unsure of myself --- even while realizing that probably no one else noticed my blog breakup. This feeling brings to surface many other times throughout my life that embarrassment reared its head. Why is it that I can forget what I am doing when I walk into a room, but I cannot forget the time I felt embarrassed in 2nd grade!
Emotions are a powerful thing. Our Creator gave them to us for a purpose. They are our release. The key to emotions is handling them properly whether they are "good" emotions --- love, excitement, appreciation, security, etc. or "bad" emotions --- fear, jealousy, sadness, etc. Part of training our children is teaching them to appreciate their emotions and helping them understand how to control them.
Fear is a common emotion for children. When your child feels afraid, help them talk about it to discover it's source or trigger. Understand the fear is very real to them and acknowledge it (vs. belittling it). From there, help them discover ways to deal with the fear --- talk, change activities, pray, play, trust, try, etc. Give them examples of how you handled fear or how someone in the Bible handled fear. Praise them when you see them try to conquer a fear and when you see progress in an on-going battle with fear in an area of their life.
Anger is another emotion children have to handle. Often, children are just too immature to know what to do when they feel angry, so they lash out with their bodies by hitting, kicking, etc, or use their voices and attitudes to respond improperly. I am not naive --- there is a difference between a temper tantrum and a reactive response to anger. I define temper tantrums as intentional decisions designed to divert the parents attention away from the real matter at hand. I am talking about a response when a child feels genuine, even justifiable, anger on a normal, day to day level and does not know how to direct it. Teach your children what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior when they feel anger. If your child shows signs of abnormal continual, deep rooted, anger that is nor common to day to day life, you may want to seek advice.
Jealousy is very common to children. Left unattended, jealousy can lead to deep seated anger, poor self-esteem, or other deep negative emotions. The Bible warns us that jealousy can "rot the bones." Every person can relate to jealousy. Common displays of jealousy include rude comments about another person, efforts to "one up," drawing attention to one's self, ignoring an individual, withdrawal from a particular person, etc. Jealousy is an emotion we often keep to ourselves. If you sense your child is struggling with jealousy, discreetly bring up the person or situation you feel may be the root.Remind your child of their own value, talents, abilities. Assure them that your love for them is unconditional and so is God's love. Talk through ways to face the situation and let them know that you understand how uncomfortable that could be.
Excitement is part of childhood. Have fun with your child! Rejoice in their victories and accomplishments! Point out things in their life that they can be thankful for and things they can look forward to. If they need a physical outlet for expressing their excitement, help provide that for them. This type of emotion is also the one where you have to teach them that may not always be the center of attention and to allow other people to have their moment of fun, attention, rest, etc.
Finally, keep in mind that the way you handle your emotions will be the lesson your children will learn the most!
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